How to build successful relationships at work

Michael Tanner, Credible Leaders, joined me in the Project Management Club On Clubhouse to talk about building successful relationships at work. These are the key takeaways from the conversation.
Michael shared five tips on how to build powerful relationships:
1) Be decisive
2) Be intentional
3) Be curious
4) Be vulnerable
5) Be consistent
We’re not trying to be covert in the relationship-building – we can’t build a relationship with someone without them knowing it, so you can explain that’s what you want.
Let’s take a closer look at them.
1) Be decisive
Michael said that you must be decisive. It is important to recognize the importance of relationships in your personal, professional, and business success. It’s essential to believe that it is important.
This is the most important thing to remember because it’s hard to maintain good relationships. To put in the effort, you must believe that it is something you want to do.
2) Be intentional
Next, it is important to be intentional in your relationships.
Relationships are more than just a matter of chance. Meetings have a project-specific agenda. It might seem like you are building relationships by attending meetings. You need to be intentional about connecting with people, such as visiting their desks and talking to them. You can also schedule a lunch or coffee chat with them.
A project status meeting does not constitute a relationship building meeting. The activity must be planned and not part of your usual project management activity.
3) Be curious
Michael stated that we ask lots of questions in meetings and feel like we’re being curious. You need to be curious about the person. You need to be curious about the person, not just their work.
Instead, ask questions to get to know them better: Tell me about your family, where you grew up. You can go on and on.
How can you balance asking questions and not asking the ‘wrong questions’ that could make them uncomfortable?
Ask questions slowly and don’t force people to divulge more than they are comfortable sharing. Listen to the person answering. Show them curiosity that is slightly higher than theirs by sharing information about your situation and what you are willing to share.
Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t push them too far.
How can you remember all of the information?
Elizabeth shared a tip about taking notes to help you keep track of information such as children’s names and places they went on holiday. Michael stated that this shows you are serious enough to record it. It communicates that you are important.
4) Be vulnerable
Michael suggested that you should be willing to share your vulnerabilities with your team members. This is a parallel to being trustworthy and vulnerable. Your weaknesses and fears should be shared with the team. If you don’t, your colleagues won’t be able to relate to you. It will be difficult to build a relationship with them if they don’t trust you as a leader.
It is a way to show strength by being vulnerable. It is important to be open to the possibility that your team members will be vulnerable to us – and to be willing to listen.
5) Be consistent
Michael advised that you be consistent and take responsibility for the building of a relationship. A strong, influential relationship is not something that can be built overnight. To build relationships, we must do the right things consistently and over time. The relationship will only be built slowly, one piece at a time.
As with trust, an influential relationship can take time to build and can be dissolved very quickly.
Michael said that if you are in any type of leadership role, it doesn’t matter if it’s defined by an organizational chart or the roles and responsibilities for a project, there’s an artificial barrier between your abilities and your peers.